The Mud Bowl

Published By: Eli Lee

At some point, someone or maybe even you might have wanted to lose weight. Whether its because they want to feel good about themselves or just to physically look better. My friend, Charlie, and I used to jog every single morning at 9 am because we wanted to lose weight. Of course, we were not the fit at all so we would jog only 2 miles a day from my house to Weston Elementary School.

It was the middle of summer and Charlie and I was about to go jogging again. It was 9 am and I was feeling a little bit hungry and I was also running late, Charlie was about to arrive at my house soon for our daily jog. With an empty stomach, I decided to quickly eat a hotdog. Charlie arrived and I walked outside, and we started jogging towards the elementary schools.

After a while of jogging, we were about a half of a mile into our jog. We stopped by a water fountain to rest and freshen up. There was a porta-potty near us too and I was debating if I should use the porta-potty before we continued. Not using the restroom Charlie and I continued our jog and after about 5 mins in I started to feel a slight stomachache. Ignoring it the first time we started to talk about life or future goals that we had. We weren’t dating to so, of course, we did talk about girls and what a good couple life would be life.

Almost reaching the 1-mile mark, my stomach began to ache a lot more. I was beginning to regret not using the restroom. I told Charlie that we should turn back and without questioning, we both turned back. Going back I felt my stomach pounding, I wasn’t sure if it was best to jog or walk it off. I felt my inside not being able to hold it in anymore. Butt checks clinched I was sure it was over for me. The only thing going through my mind was regretting the hotdog in the morning and not using the porta-potty when I had the chance. Charlie kept telling me stories to help distract me from letting it out. Millions of questions were going through my mind, should I run into the bushes? Should I go knock on a random person door to use their restroom? How bad is it going to be?

“If it happens you promise not to tell anyone?” I told Charlie already making promises for the worst. Small farts started to come out and both butt checks clinched while we make the rest of the way to the porta-potty. We were next to a busy road so there was no way to hide anything. Only a few more blocks and my heart was pounding and we were sprint as fast as Usain Bolt going for gold in the Olympics. I couldn’t any longer and I told Charlie with already an embarrassed face and I stood still said, “I’m going to poop my pants, Charlie, you promised…”

Plop!!!! I felt my poop shoot straight out of my butthole and landed inside my draws! I was not going to leave it in my draws so I shock my left leg and BAMMMM!!!! It slid down my calf and hit the curve on the road!

“I didn’t see anything I didn’t see anything!” Charlie lied just to make me feel better. Almost traumatized, I looked down at my clump of poop it was dark, big, and mushy! Imagine taking a bowl and filling it with mud and then flipping it onto the ground and that was how it looked like. Mine and Charlie’s eyes will never forget it!

Leaving the hazardous site and both humiliated we jogged the next very uncomfortable blocks and I flung open the portal potty door and slammed it shut behind me. I stripped off my lower half and whipped every inch! Toilet paper was dispensed left and right, up and down! After I wiped, I emptied the hand sanitizer. While I was still cleaning myself, I called my brother to pick me up with a fresh pair of shorts, draws, and a bag. I opened the door and told Charlie, “Hey, you promised…”

I had never been so embarrassed in my life, never again will I eat a hotdog on an empty stomach, and never again will I pass up bathroom privileges. I will never forget that day and about how embarrassing it was, but on the bright side, I did drop a little weight at the end.